Lisa Taddeo, sexual desire, three women

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at:, or follow me on Twitter.


Lisa Taddeo

I started by going to San Francisco. I went to a couple of places that felt like they might be the nucleus of sex. I went to the “porn castle” in San Francisco, which is now defunct, but it was this wild place. I was profiling a young woman who was having sex with men while being filmed and directed by her girlfriend. I was really intrigued by how it must feel to watch your partner have sex with men in front of you. The fact that it was men was particularly striking to me.

Anyway, so I started there. Then I drove across the country six times. I posted these flyers that were looking for people who would have compelling stories and would be amenable to letting me follow them around and hang out with them.

I was traveling from New York City to all these places, but I was always coming back home, and it just felt like I couldn’t get out of my worldview. I’d be hanging with my friends and then I’d leave town, and it just didn’t feel solid or grounded.

So I decided to move to Indiana. It was kind of a random decision, but it was also not — the Kinsey Institute was there. I met a woman in a discussion group; her name was Lina. And she was just so … when you ask me how I “knew,” it was [through] the immediacy of her story unfolding: her husband not wanting to kiss her on the mouth, and her embarking on this relationship with her high school lover. All of that was so wild to me because it was happening right then. And as much as I wanted to listen to someone’s story, she wanted to talk about her own story.

The two things intersected. Nobody since and nobody prior had given me as much as she gave me. It wasn’t like I was trying to make her talk.

So that’s how I knew she was going to be definitely a person [in the book]. I had no doubt.

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