How not to do a BSDM movie

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at: lawrence@krubner.com

The press tour for 50 Shades Of Grey is a disaster:

Because 50 Shades of Grey is a sex movie, Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan have routinely been asked about sex. Because Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan seem to dislike at least this specific sort of sex (fake sex, with a person they hate, in a movie they made for a job they regret), they routinely display discomfort (ranging from wide-eyed confusion to intense aversion) when talking about sex, in general.

Jamie Dornan, Glamour, January 30, 2015:

“Some of the Red Room stuff was uncomfortable. There were times when Dakota was not wearing much, and I had to do stuff to her that I’d never choose to do to a woman.”
Jamie Dornan, Glamour, January 30, 2015:

“The first day [of filming] was kind of an out-of-body experience. I got there and they said, “Action!” I’m like, “What the f—k is happening? I’m a dad. What?”

Dakota Johnson, Glamour, January 30, 2015:
“I grew up in Colorado, and there are manly men there, so manliness is attractive to me. I think it’s unsexy when a man chews with his mouth open or when a man is rude or wears fedoras. I hate fedoras. Oh God, I can find more things I hate about men than I like. I think it’s just a phase!”

Jamie Dornan, GQ UK, January 6, 2015:
Your dignity is intact as much as it’s all tucked away in a little flesh-coloured bag… As a guy you put all your essentials in a little bag and you tie it up like a little bag of grapes and it’s tucked away.

Jamie Dornan, Elle UK, January 2, 2015, on visiting a sex dungeon:
“It was an interesting evening. Then go back to my wife and newborn baby afterwards … I had a long shower before touching either of them.”

If the movie was suppose to be a sex movie, perhaps it would have made sense to hire porn starts to do an explicit version of this film? But if, instead, the idea was to clean the story up, and do a conservative version of the movie, then perhaps the whole thing should have been re-considered? If you are trying to do a conservative version of a BSDM movie, then perhaps you’ve gone completely off course? In France they have the genre “theatre du corps” but for some reason movie makers in the USA seem incapable of producing a movie for this genre — in the USA there is a wide gap between porn and mainstream films.

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