The Board of Directors of Yahoo is criminally stupid

(written by Lawrence Krubner, however indented passages are often quotes)

Incredible:

Today, Yahoo leaders — all of them in two different memos — took to the keyboards to fill their 14,000 employees in on what’s up.
Reading them, Yahoos must now be more confused than ever.

To summarize: Yahoo is for sale, sort of. But we’re taking it slow, because we always like to drag out the uncertainty here at Sunnyvale HQ. Hey, keep working hard and innovating, despite the still-matrixed system. But don’t fret that your job and career hang in the balance. And have a good weekend!

In the first email, Yahoo Chairman Roy Bostock and co-founders David Filo and Jerry Yang — also a director — penned a rambling missive, which finally admitted the company was indeed, as was first reported here, for sale.

Yahoo said hired-gun investment advisor, Allen & Co., was “fielding inquiries from multiple parties that have already expressed interest in a number of potential options.”

Not to be a niggler, but didn’t Yang tell the troops at an all-hands meeting recently that Yahoo was not for sale?

Details! Thus, said the memo, until the company sorts out all the offers just pouring in — not so much, but when you’re selling a house, you put on the dog — Yahoos had to keep working hard.

Therefore: “What Yahoo! needs to do better — and we’ve talked about this — is accelerate innovation, reignite inspiration, and give our users what they want now — great content that is engaging and easy-to-use on any device and provides an experience in which they can participate and contribute. Perhaps most importantly, we need to anticipate what they will want next.”

You’ve. Talked. About. This. You mean to try to make cool stuff like every other tech company — Apple, Facebook, Google — already does? Mind-blowing.

After a little throat-clearing on its fake search for a new permanent CEO and some media-bashing (yes, this all my fault!), the memo noted that all this fancy strategery is going to take “months, not weeks.”

(Is it just me or does it feel as though former CEO Carol Bartz was fired a badillion years ago, instead of just weeks ago? Plus, I actually believe I officially now miss her kooky-but-genuine Friday staff emails.)

The Gang of Three email was followed by one from the incredible shrinking interim CEO Tim Morse, who said Yahoo was not in “limbo,” due to all this obvious limboness about the strategy.

“That means we will not be sitting still over the next few months,” Morse wrote. “We are actively making decisions and taking action.”
In other words, nothing to see here. Except everything.