Goals are unhappy

(written by Lawrence Krubner, however indented passages are often quotes)

Taryn East writes:

There are heaps of processes that I enjoy far more than the actual end-result.

Crochet is my example.

I’m quite happy to continue crocheting something pretty (it has to be pretty – I don’t enjoy crocheting abominations) for a long time and never “owning a crocheted thing” at the end.

Before I hit upon the solution, I spent a long time starting projects – some of which I finished, but lots I didn’t… because I didn’t care about finishing – just about doing. Of course, couple this with an aversion to destroying something I’ve already made (which might have solved the problem by turning it into a sisyphean task). and I got a lot of “why don’t you ever finish anything?” from my mother.

The question usually comes as “why don’t you ever finish anything, don’t you want the [crocheted thing] you set out to create?” – and the honest answer is “no”…. but if you say that – they ask “well why did you start making it in the first place?”

Most people don’t seem to understand enjoying the process – at least not on a gut level…

I actually solved this particular dilemma by giving away my crocheted things to my grandma – who likes owning crocheted doilies et al. Works for embroidery projects too.

Unfortunately, I still tend to get lack of understanding from other people: “but why don’t you ever make something for yourself?” I find it *very* hard to explain to goal-oriented people why I don’t like crochet… I like crocheting.

I’d be curious who ends up happier, the goal-oriented or the process-oriented. I can not think of much where I enjoy the process more than the goal, but that contributes to me being unhappy with every project I’ve ever worked on, as none ever match up to the perfection of the goals that I aim for.