Become a Dentist

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at:

This is a good spoof of the whole genre of Get Rich In 4 Hours!

R for Reality. This is the most important step for the 4-Hour Dentist. Several years ago, I was snowboarding down Mount Everest after giving Bono singing lessons when I struck a tree and died instantly on impact. At first I just laid there, totally dead, a complete loser. Then something occurred to me: Being dead sucks! I’d totally rather be having wolverine sex with the entire cast of 7th Heaven circa 1997. Bam! It happened. Moral of this fucking awesome story? Success comes to those who force reality to bend to their will. Objectivity is subjective, and the laws of science are for victims. You’re not a dentist until you determine that you are a dentist. Visualize the tiny cups of fluoride; smell those disposable gloves; grab your beautiful young dental hygienist and give her the most epic orgasm of her life. It’s all already happening!