God should have made girls lethal when he made monsters of men

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at: lawrence@krubner.com


“God should have made girls lethal/when he made monsters of men” reads a line by poet Elisabeth Hewer. The line has stuck with me since I stumbled upon it in another book, not just because it’s striking, but because I resent its truth. I’m bored with dissecting my own victimhood but I also feel choked by it, held in place by its reality.

…I’ve had many men (and it’s only been men) tell me that the Weinstein fallout is a watershed moment. While I wish otherwise, I simply can’t believe they’re right. Donald Trump—accused of sexual misconduct by nearly 20 women—is still President. Roy Moore, an accused predator of teenage girls, would have won the recent Alabama senate race if it wasn’t for the inspiring turn out of black voters. Democrats and leftists didn’t want Senator Al Franken to step down despite his own admission to sexual misconduct. We’re fighting an uphill battle that can’t be won with the downfall of a few convenient scapegoats. Especially considering that those most likely to face the worst kinds of abuses—trans women, women of color, immigrants, and the poor—have barely entered the conversation.

We’re going to have to start over completely; pull apart our cultural DNA and rebuild something new, something equal. History demonstrates that few have the will or energy to make such a changes happen, but maybe—I’m pessimistic, but maybe—now is the time. If so, it will take a lot more to tip the scales than a few men finally recognizing that microaggressions are real (and turn into macroaggressions) or wealthy white ladies donning the right shade of resistance red and getting massages from impoverished immigrant women in the name of self-care. We’re going to have to accept that change itself can be dolorous and tedious, but that trauma should be healed at the expense of the abusers and not the abused.