September 9th, 2015
(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at: firstname.lastname@example.org
When I told this story to the man I love, I felt shame flooding me at the point when I’d said too much to stop yet hadn’t gotten to the worst part. I realized I made a mistake; I didn’t want him to hear about this. I started sharing because I was trying to explain what it feels like to pitch and write while I know this is what editors really want to run, what readers want to read. How thoroughly degraded and humiliated I felt by the email exchange. And how I felt that way all over again, talking now about hotel mattresses, about how this stranger saw me and what he asked of me, how other strangers might see me. How he himself, this man I loved, might see me regardless of everything else I am.