June 3rd, 2016
In Philosophy
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If you enjoy this article, see the other most popular articles
If you enjoy this article, see the other most popular articles
If you enjoy this article, see the other most popular articles
Sexual ideas you should really avoid
(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at: lawrence@krubner.com, or follow me on Twitter.
This is funny. 33 things that happen in porn that you should never try yourself:
Propositioning your friend’s mom
Propositioning your mom’s friend
Propositioning your step-anybody
Spying on someone in the shower while assuming voyeurism turns them on
Picking someone off a street in your van
Sex with a strange pizza guy, plumber, electrician, or anyone else who’s paid by their employer to go to your house
Answering the door in only a towel
Answering the door completely naked and not expecting it to end in a lawsuit
Substituting lube with spit
Giving/receiving head while you’re driving 80mph on the highway
Skipping foreplay entirely
Bribing your college professor with sex
Blackmailing your college students with sex
Expecting a squeaky-clean orgy with attractive people
Bringing eels into the bedroom
Bringing the bedroom into a parking lot
Tearing clothing into pieces with reckless abandon and no apologies
Calling a guy “daddy”
Trying to hold a third-party conversation while you’re inside someone
Sex on the beach… unless you’re into infections
Sex in the shower… unless you have padded feet and webbed toes
Sex in the pool… unless you’re Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan
Pretending to be an adult-film casting director
Surprise anal
Surprise facial
Wedding-day sex with the bride (grooms excluded)
Filming people without telling them
Glory holes
Accepting medical treatment from anyone with provocative cleavage
Mother-daughter threesomes
Sister-sister threesomes
Look, if it’s a threesome, just make sure no two people are related, OK?
Fast-forwarding past the boring parts
Post external references
- 1
https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/nation/sex-positions-tips-porn-moves-that-are-bad-ideas-in-real-life
February 8, 2022 9:33 am
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