The Liar, The Bitch and the Wardrobe

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at:

(The 2nd of 20 reviews of romance novels. I’m reading romance novels so I can learn how to better write about romance in my own works of fiction. My first review was of Evening)

The Liar, The Bitch and the Wardrobe is by Allie Kingsley

This is a very light book. I might compare it to Augusten Burroughs book Sellevsion, which was a bit of light comedy.

Kingsley’s book might have been written as a Young Adult book. I don’t mean that as a criticism, since of course, there are many Young Adult books are that are classics. I only say it to frame the rest of my thoughts. The book is nominally about a woman who goes to Hollywood and gets lost in the decadent lifestyle, but this book is very chaste, sort of like what you might expect from a Young Adult book. The main character spends a lot of time wishing someone would like her, so it reads like one of those coming-of-age high school stories, although the main character is suppose to be 24. In the whole book there are exactly 2 sentences that describe something that might be considered a sex scene, so the decadent lifestyle of Hollywood is hinted at, but it’s never on screen. Somewhere around page 200, the main character finally kisses someone. And the kiss is considered a big deal. So it’s that kind of book. Don’t read this expecting erotica.

The book is meant as comedy, and it has a few good lines. I wish it was funnier. The book is not deep, so it should at least be funny.

The best thing about the book is the attention to fashion. This is an area where I wish I was stronger. There are detailed descriptions of the outfits. Oddly, she gives credit to the fashion consultant who helped her on the book. I have contradictory feelings about that. On the one hand, I wish authors gave more public praise to the consultants who help them. So I think its great. On the other hand, it is sort of funny to think that the best part of the book came from someone else.

The book had a few good lines, but they were spread over too much space. I counted up the words on one page, and there were 320 words, and there were 294 pages, so we are talking about roughly 94,000 words. That seems too long for a Young Adult novel. Most Young Adult novels are about half that length. And I think this book would have been really strong if it was cut in half. There is enough plot and humor to sustain maybe 50,000 words, but not much more.