The low-level and constant harassment of assuming people want to talk to you

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at:, or follow me on Twitter.

Invasive, overly personal, aggressive, boundary testing. Unfortunate:

I’m 58 years old. For the most part I look 58 years old. I’m physically disabled. Yesterday I was at Costco and got a hotdog when I was done shopping. I sat at the first table to eat, and parked my cart at the end of the table. A guy about the size, shape, and age of Trump came up and asked if he could sit at my table. It wasn’t busy but it was right next to the condiments and he was straining to walk so I said sure. He’s working on 80, what do I have to worry about?

So he sits and comments on the weather – I live in NC and it was 97 degrees AGAIN. I agreed I was tired of it. I was reading my phone. More chit chat about the weather. I finally comment that I my alarm clock that tells me the weather every morning and that I’m tired of it saying it’s going to be in the upper 90’s since April. He asks what kind of alarm I have and I explain I’d bought a google speaker and it helps in a lot of different ways. “Oh, I bet it hears you and your husband going at it all the time.” Really, motherfucker?

I ignore him. I say, “yes, I’m tired of the hot weather”, and go on with my reading and eating. “I bet it hears you two moaning and groaning all night long.” I’m surrounded by old white men. WTF am I supposed to say to him? My temper goes from zero to 90 in about 20 seconds, and it never turns out good when a woman gives a man what’s coming to him in a public space. Back to my phone. I’m checking the schedule for upcoming weekend sports. He sees I’m checking local Rugby schedule where I’m supposed to meet someone this weekend.

“Rugby? Soccer’s popular but Rugby?” I tell him that I don’t think that there’s an audience for the Soccer stadium they want to build in Charlotte and go back to reading. He says, “That Cam Newton doesn’t care anything about football, he just cares about dressing funny.” Ok… “You know they got that Joe Biden for sure today – he belongs in jail. They got photos of him on the golf course with someone from Ukraine.” Uh-huh… “You know if I hear one more thing from that jerk “Shifty” my head’s going to explode!” I suggest that he might hear more so he should probably take his blood pressure medicine because more’s coming. BTW, this is an hour before yesterday’s news conference. I wad up my wrapper and walk away, shaken and angry that there has never been a time in the last 50 years that some asshole hasn’t come along and decided to have a little fun at my expense in one way or another.

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