The truth about the Tea Party

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at: lawrence@krubner.com, or follow me on Twitter.

A friend from Australia writes:

So Lawrence, in a nutshell, what’s this Tea Party all about. Who’s hosting it? What tea are they serving? Plastic cups or ceramic?

I reply to her:

Sam, the tea party is made up of people who like tea. Very patriotic, country loving people who like tea. In fact, they love tea. They love tea very much. And they are upset, because there is a rumor going around that President Obama doesn’t like tea. The media has tried to get all the facts, as it always does. They’ve asked the White House if President Obama likes tea. Unfortunately, that information is classified – it is a matter of national security. You need to be a high ranking officer in the CIA before you are allowed to know. Obviously, the enemies of the USA could use the information against us if it was well know. For instance, what if Obama was crazy about Earl Grey? Then the Earl Grey producing nations would know that they could blackmail him, by threatening to cut off all exports to the USA. That would be bad. So the information needs to be classified. And this leads to rumors. Anyway, the tea party is made of a very broad coalition that includes people who like Earl Grey, and people who like Darjeeling, and also people who like green tea, and even people who like white tea. As I said, it is a very broad coalition. They are convinced that Obama is secretly a tea hater, so they are determined to throw him out of power and replace him with someone more tea loving. That is the tea party.

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