Who am I without sleep?

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at: lawrence@krubner.com

It is terrifying how much I change without sleep. Some sleep deprivation is good for me: when I get a lot of sleep, I become hyper creative, to the point where I daydream too much and don’t work enough. Mild sleep deprivation cuts back on the daydreaming. And if I go one night with 3 hours of sleep or less I tend to get one day where I am strangely sharp and lucid. But if I go 2 nights like that, then I become someone else. All my desires leave me, all of ambition, my dreams and hopes and hungers become chalk in my mouth — I can not remember why I ever had an appetite for them. I am someone else, when I am without sleep.