New discoveries with The Sims

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at: lawrence@krubner.com

I have never played the Sims game. I did play Sim City back in the 1990s. I was first introduced to the game in 1994 and lost a weekend discovering all I could about it. In my life I have probably played the game 100 times?

The Sims has a strong culture around it, which is something that only a handful of games have achieved. This whole bit was funny and interesting:

But for whatever reason, I’d just never played it..

…okay. Maybe not “for whatever reason.” There’s an actual reason, I’m just ashamed to admit it. I avoided The Sims purely because of the stigma I always associated with it. Growing up, I dismissed The Sims as some sort of “girl game” that I wouldn’t be caught dead playing. Or worse, I considered it something that only “weirdos” who liked things like Second Life would play. Sometimes, I’d stumble on Sims-related blogs, clearly penned by teenagers who were acting out their dollhouse fantasies. The screenshots, the obsession with creating a fantasy world, it all kind of creeped me out. What were these people doing with their lives?

So with the mat set up, I let Alex play his video game. Midway through, he gets uncomfortable. Alex, you see, needs to pee. So I tell Alex he needs to stop playing his video game, and go to the toilet. Except Alex refuses to go pee. Every time I click “use toilet,” his little bubble responds with “gaming mat.” Just, over and over, “gaming mat.” Alex, do you want to go outside? No, gaming mat. Do you want to pee? No, gaming mat. Do you want to eat? NO I WANT THE FUCKING GAMING MAT.

Bewildered, I let Alex play on his stupid gaming mat, an activity that seemed to take forever. Which is to say: I angrily watched Alex play some Tetris knockoff while his bladder meter slowly filled up. The entire time, I just kept cursing at him— youlittlepieceofshitareyouseriousyou’renotgoingtofuckingusethebathroombecauseyouwanttoplayavideogame, thevideogameisntevenarealgameyoufakegamerfuckohmygodwhyareyoudoingthistomecantyoujustusethebathroom,whatareyou,afuckingtwoyearold!?

LOOK AT THIS ASSHOLE

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