My cat doesn’t get me

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at:, or follow me on Twitter.

Miscommunication between humans and cats:

Me: “Okay, Edek, I need to work now. You cannot sleep right here, in front of my laptop. I am picking you up now, okay? I am very lovingly carrying you over to your favorite spot over here on the couch. I am putting you here so you can rest as much as you want, so long as you are not near my laptop. If you want sleep, here is a good place to sleep, on the couch. I am placing you here so you understand that I want you to stay over here, not near my laptop.”

Edek: “What’s going on? He’s getting up? Oh, and he’s picking me up? We are going for a ride? Wheeeeeee! So fun! Wheeeeee! We are moving through the air! I love it when he picks me up and carries me! Wheeeeee! This is a great game! This must mean that he wants me to bite him! I will bite him now! Oh, and now he is making those weird sounds he makes when I bite him. I love games! Okay, and now he is setting me down. I guess he wants to play the game again? I will run back to the laptop now, so that we can start the game again! Wheeeeee!”