Restarting my life

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at:, or follow me on Twitter.

Most people are now looking back at 18 months of pandemic, but I’m looking back at 30 months of such craziness. At the end of 2018 my 90 year old mom developed pneumonia, was in the hospital and then a terrible rehabilitation clinic for some weeks, and was then released, and I was left largely alone to nurse her back to health (our society does not offer much support to families in crisis). I’ve written about this in my book “Regarding The Death Of My Father,” which actually has 3 parts:

  1. my father’s death from cancer in 2007
  2. my mom’s crisis in 2019
  3. an essay suggesting reforms to the American medical system.

The main reform that I suggest is that our medical system is now balkanized into so many specialties that we each need an advisor who can help us navigate the system. Just like you would not go to court without a lawyer, you should not go into the medical system without a patient advocate. I will be collecting stories, from both patients and doctors and nurses, to argue for this idea, over on a website called “We Need Patient Advocates.”

Because life is cruel, and sometimes our luck goes against us, several problems came up at once. When my mom had her health crisis, I also had a less serious problem: this website crashed. When I looked into it, I realized it was on a server with a very small harddrive (40 gigs) and that harddrive had filled up. For many months, my focus was on taking care of my mom but in 2020 I did briefly restore this site. However, it was instantly hacked, which for me reminds me how fundamentally insecure WordPress is, and how much I’d like to move to some other software that is not WordPress. But there is only so much time in the day. In 2020 we were beset with the pandemic, and my mom’s health was fragile. We made the decision that she should move in with me, so we packed up her house, put some things in storage, sold the house, and in February of 2020 she moved in with me. For me personally, the pandemic had this odd quality, after a year of dealing with hospitals, and feeling isolated, it was as if the entire world decided to join my family in experiencing the same crisis.

This year has been much happier. My mom is well. I got vaccinated. My clients are busy. People are reconnecting. The startups I work are hiring. And I am restarting one of my favorite traditions, which is hosting a once-a-month party, which I did for 3 years before the pandemic. The first party will be on July 24th, if you live in New York and you are interested, please contact me at: .

As you can see, I’ve restarted this weblog. I’ve got all the files on the webserver locked down tight, chmod 0500, so I’ve given up the ability to upload files, in the hopes that such a strict lockdown will protect me from hacks. (I would have gone chmod 0400 but the htaccess files have to be 0500.)

Although I signed up for Twitter in 2009, I did not use it much till the summer of 2019, when I was sitting in a hospital, worried about my mom, and looking for a way to distract myself. My weblog was offline, as noted above, so I had to find some other online distraction. I’ve been busy on Twitter for these last 2 years, though I assume I’ll be somewhat less busy there now that my regular blogs are back.

By the way, I am planning a new startup, which will focus on an aspect of indexing the web that no longer interests Google: judging the reputation of particular writers, especially bloggers. If anyone remembers Technorati, back in 2006, that is the basic idea. It is not a huge money making an idea, but for me it will be a “labor of love” as they say.

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