What kind of a father are you?

(written by lawrence krubner, however indented passages are often quotes). You can contact lawrence at: lawrence@krubner.com, or follow me on Twitter.

[Originally published on a weblog called “What Is Liberalism?”]

Written by Laura Denyes

Anyone else have to recite aloud M-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-humpback-humpback-I before you could clear your head and absorb the BS before you? I did. The crooked letters seemed to have more of place in this backwards story.

To take that honorable natural right from another in defense of your offspring? Sounds tribal. We all want to do what the police chief did, hold someone accountable when facing inexplicable loss… and infuse this person with fault and blame and exhonorate ourselves by some Babylonian eye for an eye, soul for a soul ritual. But I guess we all kind of hope that as Americans our Police Chief of Staff might practice a little more composure and self-restraint, maybe offer a better example. Particularly in the face of a War on Drugs when enough lives are lost without getting caught up in feeling dishonored.

I guess she’s now four and a half. Damn. You can’t give those prescious years back to either one of them.

At some point in processing this story it became clear to me what was going on, we’re talking about fathers, each one defending their child. Ironically, these men reacted the same way to a problem neither one of them had anything to do with… one less than the other.

By definition the career of a law enforcement officer is risky business. Anyone who has been in the field or close to someone in the field knows this. One who has spent a lifetime in the field and graduated to anything of a higher position in the industry would have a clear understanding of that.

There must be something of a bittersweet reproach in that position, having seen so many good men come and go and having a keen grasp of all the world’s injustice, when you badge a new officer that you like. You are putting them at the world’s mercy. You are rewarding them with the badge of honor to go out on their own and defend a larger good. It’s a morally wrenching problem. You are asking them to potentially take their life into their own hands for the cause of greater good, for the betterment of a larger community. A selfless act, where loss is a probability.

On the other hand… low income families find themselves in risky business, surrounded by it. Despite the danger many folks in desparaging situations turn to drugs. It is for their own good that there is outside intervention, because, in the words of Mr. Hand, “Drugs are bad.” It turns into something of a vicious cycle at the forefront and maintains. Drugs are illegal. The distribution of drugs is illegal. The involvement in the creation or procurement or distribution or use of drugs is illegal. Said offenses punishable in accordance to the related degree of the offense (we hope).

Is it illegal to live in a “bad neighborhood”? Illegal to live near someone who is doing any of the above? If so, perhaps we oughtta proclaim certain cities as prisons and build walls around them as there sure as hell aren’t enough prison cells to manage that problem. Oh, I guess that has nothing to do with it. So, I’m missing something or leaving something out… let’s review.

I am Cory Maye. I live in a “bad neighborhood”. Can’t do anything about it as I can’t afford to move out. I’m not safe in my own home. I have a daughter under two years old. There is rumor that my neighbor distributes drugs out of his home. I hate that the fool has hoodlums in and out of his place all hours of the day and night. It’s an awful place for my daughter to grow up, but it’s what I’ve got and there is no shame in that. Doesn’t mean I trust folks. I’ve never had any reason to use it, but I’ve got a gun just in case and with the regular rhythm of shots in the air around here… it’s hard to know when it’s a new year’s celebration. I live in a duplex… some folks don’t realize that means I have a separate place and life from my neighbor. People knock on my door and my windows all the time… it’s a duplex, people forget. I deal with it. I’m worried about the day that some fool comes along busting on what he thinks is my neighbor’s door thinking I’m the one that owes them money, sold ’em bad shit or fiending like a fool so bad they don’t care who I am or if I have any drugs they just want to hurt someone as badly as they are hurting.

Hypothetical? Unlikely? Possile?

I only control my actions. It is best to protect myself and now, my 18 month old daughter. When I hear crazy shit going down sometimes I wake up reaching for my gun the neighborhood is so bad. People are offing each other left and right for less and less because the strife is so bad. I don’t think killing anyone has ever solved anything but I’m not about to imagine being caught off guard and unable to defend my little girl.

So, I’m sorry, when it’s the middle of the night and my little girl and I are asleep and some fool busts in my front door and is coming right at me… you’re after me and I don’t know what the hell you want and you damn sure don’t need to be in my home barging in towards my family. I don’t know any other way to look at it other than self-defense. I was under attack… ill-prepared, caught off guard, in a state of confusion and panic. I did what any man would do… tell me a white man wouldn’t do the same thing. This is not a war on drugs. This is self-defense. I agree it’s a bad situation. The entire situation is bad. My regret in doing what I did will not change the fact that I fear in the same scenario I would act the same way. Because there was no wrong in the action. I am not guilty of killing a cop. I am guilty of defending my home from an intruder in the dark in the middle of the night.

Tell me you wouldn’t have reacted the same way. Live in my neighborhood, know the life I live, understand the sheer element of sruvival that is infused in my every day and riddle me this… What kind of father are you?

Guest Post By Laura Denyes

Post external references

  1. 1
    http://www.whatisliberalism.com/index.php?pageId=70589
  2. 2
    http://www.lauradenyes.com/
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